Bunwick stared into his cider, losing himself in thought for a moment. When he looked up again, Wilhemina was talking. Wilhemina was always talking. She couldn’t abide silence and since Bunwick wasn’t much of a talker, she talked enough for the both of them.
He nodded as though he’d heard everything Wilhemina just said and went back to pondering his mug.
It had been two weeks since Bunwick and Wilhemina set out from Appleglen. Bunwick wanted to see the world, and in particular study its architecture. His departure from his home had been voluntary. Wilhemina’s leaving was somewhat less so. At least so he had surmised from the pitchforks and spirited name-calling.
He suspected Wilhemina stuck with him after leaving Appleglen because she was afraid she would get eaten by wild animals if she travelled alone. Wilhemina was a weasel and not very big. As a beaver, Bunwick wasn’t much bigger but there was undoubtedly safety in numbers. In any event, their odds of survival had greatly improved when Raz joined their group.
Furs don’t mess around with wolverines. They can get nasty. Raz was so preoccupied with making Shinies though, Bunwick wasn’t sure the big fur would notice if someone was messing with him.
They’d met Raz in Calix’s Cross, the first stop on their journey. Raz seemed keen on having new partners to involve in his Shiny-making schemes. Wilhemina and Bunwick were keen on not getting eaten. It had so far been a furship of convenience and it had led them here to the capital.
Enough daydreaming, Bunwick thought to himself. Best pay attention lest Wilhemina say something crazy to get them all in hot water. It was one of her specialties after all.
Right now, she was trying to convince the frog they’d just met that she was a princess. The frog, Zouly was his name, didn’t seem impressed.
“Do you ever shut up?” Zouly asked irritably.
“Well, no…” Wilhemina answered truthfully. For all her faults, the weasel was unable to lie if you asked her a direct question. Except when I ask them, Bunwick thought to himself. She’d told him plenty of doozies before and he’d believed them all. Inevitably one of her new stories would contradict an older one and only then would he know that she’d lied to him.
“Friends! Friends!” Raz said, trying to play peacekeeper, “Let us speak of better things, such as how we might make Shinies.”
“Hold on,” Zouly grumbled, “We only just met and you’re trying to rope me into one of your crazy Shiny-making schemes?”
“Just so, just so,” Raz nodded, adding hastily, “Well, maybe not so much with the crazy, but there’s nothing like making Shinies to bring a furship together! I don’t know how exactly, but I’m sure we can make use of a fine frog such as yourself in our enterprise!”
The frog snorted, “If you don’t step on me first!” referring to the way Raz had almost tripped over him as the wolverine entered the inn.
“It was an honest accident, friend!” Raz said by way of apology, “And didn’t I pay for that cider you’re drinking to make amends? It cost me a precious Shiny, it did!”
“I think you’re all forgetting something…” Wilhemina butted in. “Namely, that I was promised fun and excitement! This conversation has neither! I’m bored!”
Bunwick tried to assuage his companion, “Come now Mina, let’s just finish our drinks, okay? We’ll find something fun to do tomo–“
“STOP THIEF!!!”
A porcupine several tables away was gesturing frantically at a fox who seemed intent to vacate the premises as quickly as possible. Under his arm he was holding a satchel, presumably the porcupine’s.
“Scoundrel!” Wilhemina exclaimed, “After him furs!” And with that she burst out the door in hot pursuit of the wily scofflaw.
“Is she serious?” Zouly asked dumbfounded as he watched the weasel’s tail zip out of view.
“Not since I’ve known her,” Bunwick sighed, “But we’d better go after her just the same.”
“Absolutely!” Raz agreed, “It would never do for one of my business partners to be stomped into paste! Come on friend frog!” A moment later, he was out the door as well.
“This just confirms my belief that nothing good ever comes from talking to other furs!” Zouly grumbled before jumping onto Bunwick’s shoulder.
“What are you doing?” the beaver asked bewildered.
“Hitching a ride! Now move it before your lady friend gets smacked loopy. Not that you’d be able to tell the difference.”
With no time to argue, Bunwick toddled out the door as fast as his little legs could carry him.
* * *
Bunwick only had to follow the noise to reach his partners. Wilhemina’s voice carried quite a ways, so he had a pretty good idea of what was going before he arrived on the scene.
Wilhemina had cornered the purse-snatching fox. The fox, realizing that he was bigger than his pursuer turned and was advancing menacingly on her when Raz came up behind her. Wilhemina was oblivious to her large friend’s presence and demanded that the fox return his ill-gotten gains. Thus was the scene when Bunwick rounded the corner a block way, huffing and puffing with Zouly still clinging onto his shoulder.
“I think I can hit him!” the frog announced, producing a slingshot from his belt.
Confused, Bunwick turned his head just as Zouly released his shot which went hurtling through the air…and hit Wilhemina in the back of the neck. The weasel promptly collapsed to the ground.
“You hit Mina!” Bunwick exclaimed.
“You moved!” the frog replied defensively.
“I was RUNNING!” Bunwick retorted.
Zouly hastily climbed down off the beaver’s shoulder to inspect Wilhemina’s wounds and Raz kneeled down to help. In the confusion, the fox slipped away.
Wilhemina slowly regained consciousness, “What happened?” she asked groggily, blinking in exaggerated fashion several times as her friends helped her to her paws.
Bunwick stared hard at Zouly, “It was–“
“A roofing tile!” Raz exclaimed.
Bunwick, Wilhemina and Zouly answered nearly in unison, “What?”
“Yes, a loose tile fell and hit you on the head!” Raz affirmed.
Bunwick stared at the wolverine in stunned silence. Sensing that the weasel was one to hold a grudge, Zouly seized on the ridiculous excuse to avoid having to explain that he had hit her, “Yes! That’s what it was!” He quickly tucked his slingshot back under his belt.
“But I don’t see a–“
“What’s going on here?”
The group spun as one to see a city guard standing behind them.
* * *
“Stupid guard! Imagine the nerve of accusing ME of being a thief!” Wilhemina said sulkily as she stalked back into the inn.
“So you’re NOT a thief?” Zouly asked.
“Well, yes…” Wilhemina admitted, “But I didn’t steal anything THIS time!”
Bunwick tried to cheer her up, “He let us go didn’t he? So he believed you…sorta.”
“More like he didn’t want anything to do with you…” Zouly muttered under his breath.
Bunwick shot Zouly an ugly look, “You’re not helping!”
The frog shrugged, “Wasn’t trying to. Innkeeper!” He called out to the goat behind the bar, “How much for a room?”
“A Shiny per room,” came the gruff reply.
Raz looked aghast, “One whole Shiny? But, but, but…” He clutched his purse as though the Shinies would pour out of it if he didn’t hold them back. “Is breakfast included at least?” When the innkeeper grunted an affirmative, he reluctantly produced a Shiny from the clutched satchel. A pained look crossed his face as he dropped it into the innkeeper’s outstretched hoof.
The others followed his lead and paid the innkeeper, though without so much fuss and headed upstairs to turn in. After such an exhausting day, Bunwick was asleep before his head even hit the pillow. So deep was his sleep that he never even heard the door to his room creak open.
* * *
The breakfast the innkeeper provided the next morning was none too appetizing. A bowl of what was purported to be oatmeal, but looked suspiciously like pig slop, was dropped unceremoniously in front of Raz.
The wolverine curled his nose, “Isn’t there anything else?” he asked.
The innkeeper crossed his arms, “You asked for breakfast, you got breakfast!”
“I thought it went without saying that I wanted to survive the meal…” Raz muttered morosely.
“What about our breakfast, sir?” Bunwick inquired to the grumpy innkeeper.
“One Shiny,” the gruff goat grunted.
“But you said breakfast was included in the price of the room,” Bunwick protested.
The goat shook his head, “Only for him. He asked for it.”
“And I’m starting to wish I hadn’t.”
“One Shiny!” the innkeeper insisted.
Too hungry to argue, Bunwick reached into his money pouch for a Shiny to pay with, only to find it empty. “I’ve been robbed!” he exclaimed.
With her partners preoccupied with Bunwick’s predicament, Wilhemina helped herself to Raz’ oatmeal/slop.
“Hey! That’s my breakfast!” Raz objected loudly.
“Mou said mou didm wam ih!” Wilhemina said, spoon in her mouth.
“Well, I didn’t say you could have it, now did I? So give it here!” The wolverine made a grab for the bowl.
The two struggled over the disgusting breakfast pulling back and forth. Finally, Wilhemina released her grip on the bowl just as Raz gave a big yank. The momentum sent the bowl flying back, where it promptly landed on the innkeeper’s head.
“OUT!” The aggravated innkeeper bellowed.
“All of us?” Wilhemina protested, “It was him who tossed his lunch at you!”
“GET OUT!”
“Alright, alright! Geez! What a grouch!” Wilhemina let herself be guided out the door by her friends who were eager to avoid making more of a scene. A second later she poked her head back in the door, “If you hope to make it in the hostelry business, you really should work on your temper.” She pulled her head back, narrowly avoiding the bowl of slop the innkeeper hurled at her.
* * *
“What am I going to do without Shinies?” Bunwick griped.
“You won’t be without Shinies for long, partner” Raz promised, “Once we get started on my plan, the Shinies will roll right in.”
“What IS your plan,” Zouly asked dubiously.
“Well, uh…that is to say, er…”
The frog sighed in exasperation, “You don’t have one.”
“Not as such, no…” Raz admitted. He was just about to add something when Wilhemina perked up.
“There he is!” Without waiting for the others to ask what she meant, she was already halfway across the street.
Bunwick watched in disbelief, “Where is she…hey! Isn’t that the fox from yesterday?”
The others looked down the street to the fox whom Wilhemina was stalking. They quickly agreed that it was one and the same.
Raz jogged off in pursuit, “You guys follow Mina! I’m going to try to cut them off.”
Bunwick waited for Zouly to hop up onto his shoulder and took off as well. “Here we go again…” Zouly muttered under his breath.
They caught up to Wilhemina a couple of blocks later. She had already confronted the fox and things were looking like they were going to take an ugly turn when Raz ran in from the opposite direction.
“Give back that purse!” Wilhemina demanded.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the fox insisted.
“Don’t make me gnaw on your shins!” Wilhemina warned.
The fox backed away, “You’re crazy!”
“That’s the popular opinion,” Zouly commented.
Wilhemina ignored the slight, “You‘re not going anyway!” Hopping out she called out, “Guards! Guards!”
The fox tried to run again, but Raz blocked his attempt. A moment later, a familiar city guard appeared.
“What’s this then?” he asked as he came on the scene. Then, noticing who it was who had called for him he rolled his eyes, “Oh not you again.”
Wilhemina puffed up her chest, “Yes me! I’m here to do your job it seems!” She gestured towards the fox, “This is the purse snatcher from last night!”
“She’s right, officer,” said Raz, “We saw the whole thing.”
“They’re lying officer!” the fox interjected. “I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when this crazy weasel came up and threatened to gnaw on my shins!”
The officer turned to face Wilhemina, “Is this true? You threatened this fox?”
“Well, yes,” Wilhemina admitted, “But only because he wouldn’t return the purse he stole!”
“I didn’t steal anybody’s purse!” the fox insisted.
The officer looked from the weasel to the fox and back. The fox looked shifty enough, but without any evidence, there wasn’t anything he could do. Besides, the weasel was just too annoying.
“Okay that’s enough,” he said at last, “I don’t see a purse here, so I’m going to have to ask you all to move along!”
“But officer…” Wilhemina whined.
The guard cut her off, “No buts! Without any evidence, it’s your word against his, and to be honest, you bug me, so get going!”
The fox smiled smarmily, “Thank you officer.” He waited until the officer had moved along to stick his tongue out at the group and then went on his way down the street.
“Well that worked out swimmingly,” Zouly grumbled. “Is this what I can expect if I join up with your little furship?”
“Probably,” Raz admitted, “But you’ll soon be rolling in so many Shinies you won’t care!”
Zouly wasn’t convinced, “And how were we going to achieve this goal of yours, again?”
“Well uh…”
“Excuse me,” a voice spoke up from behind them, “Did I overhear you saying you were looking to make some Shinies?” The four turned to see a well-dressed mole standing there.
Raz’s eyes lit up, “Shinies? Absolutely my good fur!” he smiled enthusiastically, “You have our undivided attention!”
The others crowded around to listen to what the mole had to say.
END OF CHAPTER